God
I feel compelled to tell you about this God. The love of my
life. Nothing in this world will ever compare to how much I love him. I don’t
love him only for what he has done for and through me, but mainly, for whom he
is. I have never seen his face, in fact I don’t believe he has a face, I don’t
believe he has a human form besides Jesus; I don’t believe I can limit him to a
body. He is the air I breathe, he is my sanity. He rises above death and
controls birth. He shuts everything he is not pleased to keep flowing. He
progresses all that concerns a great return for his will. He is unlimited. He
is sovereign, al l so mighty and filled with splendor. I have tried doing this
before and I have felt exactly like I am feeling now, I always end up
frustrated because my vocabulary fails to express how I really feel about God,
I always try to come up with the thoughts I have about him but I end up unable
to put down my thoughts into words. Perhaps I should read more and increase my
vocabulary, perhaps I should attend some literacy classes that will help me
rearrange these words in such a way that I never really run out of expressions.
But simply: I am in love. More than in awe. I don’t know how to really explain
this but I am going to keep on trying. See God to me, has been a father, a real
father, no jokes, he has been to me an aspect I thought I never deserved or was
destined to have, a father. He pushed all else aside to father me, I text this
with overwhelming emotions because I now know him as the only man who embraces
me in my deepest weaknesses, pain, turmoil, hunger and need and just loves me,
the only man who goes all out to do anything and everything just to see a smile
on my face. Sometimes I just don’t know how to feel because it just overwhelms
me how much he loves me. The only man, who wipes away my tears, tucks me in
into long warm hugs that leave me feeling sane, restored, alive and normal when
the entire world is causing the exact opposite effect. I love how he has won my
trust, how for so long he held on and refused to let go of me, how giving up on
me was never ever an option. I love how he held my hand through the toughest
and most hurting times. I love how he wakes me up every morning and kisses my
chicks with the unlimited rays of the sun. I love how he sends drops of rain to
replace my tears and cleanse the air for me to breathe in his fresh aura. I
love how he pushes out all my thoughts, cares and worries everyday at special
moments and whispers words that bring me tranquility. I just love how he smiles
at me each time I look in the mirror. I love how I can feel him blowing air
into my nostrils when I am overwhelmed and gasping for air. I love how he
sustains me when my knees grow weak and my feet can’t balance my body. I love
how he picks me up when there is danger in front of me and I am about to get
hurt. I love how he holds my hand through hurting moments that he permits to
challenge me and strengthen me. I love how he picks the most outrageously tough
challenges and obstacle courses for me to go through and then holds my face,
kisses my forehead and tells me he is proud when I reach the finish line. I
love how when I forget him he reminds me that not a moment passes by that he is
not thinking about me. I am in love. I will never trust like I trust God. I
will live to worship and serve him. I will live to be what he has made me to
be. I will remain in this love; none other can ever come close to this one. I
am so in love. It compels me to shed these tears of joy as I think about this
God, this Spirit that lives in me. I am taken. I am immersed in such a
beautiful love affair that I don’t deserve but enjoy so intensely. I am my
father’s little girl. The apple of his eye. His little princess that he is
skillfully pruning into a queen. I am my daddy’s flower, with soft petals,
amazingly beautiful colors, heavenly silky textured, strong stem and glorious
leaves. I am my daddy’s rainbow kisses, I am his magical sprinkles. I am loved
by love itself. I am in love. They call him all sorts of fancy names. I call
him Papa. My creator.
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