My Purpose changed....

I saw it happen, I was there, I felt it, smelt it, heard it and knew it was happening, my purpose changing...it happened the instant I called his name. The wind mills changed direction, the clouds began to fade, the shimmer of the sunlight nearly blinded me, the gentle breeze surrounded me and I felt the soft kiss of his overwhelming love respond, it felt like it was a kiss on my heart and then on my mind then on my soul till I realized, it was really on my Spirit.

 It happened. Like raindrops on the windows, each pain, shame, guilt, disappointment, insecurity, mistake, bad habit, failure, heartache, regret...each one of them where receiving a droplet of love, mercy, healing, grace, peace, freedom, response, forgiveness, reconciliation, restoration and redemption. It happened.

 My purpose changed. My identity was being sealed with divinity. My attributes became clear, my true features glowed. My purpose changed. The future suddenly had it all, far different from what I'd ever thought, but so fulfilling, so amazing, so true and right, designed and aligned. My purpose changed, when I called his name.

 

Short and sweet

 

 

God does not delight in our good intentions. He delights in our actions, sitting with Him in a quiet place, unhurried, and eager to have fellowship together. He delights in hearing our professions of love, our expressions of gratitude, our sorrows and concerns, our hope and trust in His power and faithfulness. He in turn, loves to profess His love for us, express His gratitude to us for loving Him and serving Him, for assuring us He hears our joys and concerns and will be faithful to help us. He loves to tell us when we are full of despair and discouraged, that He will never leave us nor forsake us. He loves to tell us what steps to take for the day, and express His concerns for what we are doing in life, in our spiritual walk with Him, etc

Mary-magdeline type affection

So I have been searching my mail box for all my previous written pieces that I would like to share. this one is just so close to my heart. I hope you enjoy it hey. the Mary0Magdeline type affection.

To: 

refiloesandra@yahoo.com

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Please read Luke 7:36-38 & Mark 14:1-9.

The devotion of any heart stems from love and attachment, its a bond established and cultivated by effort, time, attention and zeal. When a man loves a woman, or vice-versa, there's a laying down  of one's life in order to better attain the most important goal of making the partner happy. The same is equally true with our relationship with the Holy Trinity, except  the deity and its own attributes, remain constant, unchanging and ever flowing whereas it takes a step further from our part to nurture and invest all of who we are in this relationship. The truth of the matter is that a lot of who we are must become subject to change and a true laying down and self death is required. This change needs to be so well thought of and planned that the conventional barriers that are in conflict with change will not prevail over our mind sets. Mary-Magdeline did not pursue purity, integrity  or faithfulness to anything or anyone, she had succumbed to a self- deteriorating lifestyle and had down sized her self worth to very close to zero. Her surroundings did not offer any mercy in aiding her. Her stagnant lifestyle not only earned her a shockingly notorious reputation, but killed the true Queen of God that she ultimately was. It took just the knowledge of the presence of Jesus in a closer and accessible surrounding, and her finest and most valuable asset, her Alabaster box, to transform, restore, redeem and exchange her whole life state back to its original intent, will and purpose- to love, pursue, devote herself to, learn from and worship the only Master- Jesus Christ who did not care of her record and current state but sought to make her a generation to generation model of true worship. The  Mary-Magdeline type of affection divinely mirrors the example of Jesus' prophetic act of washing the feet of the disciples. It scales down to the affection of Ruth laying down her body at the feet of Boaz, it includes the same sacrificial type of offering that Moses' mother showed when she rescued him in the woven basket along the river. Its in this type of affection that we notice the protocol of true love: the identification of our own states as void, incomplete or needing a complement, the identification of a being so supremely able, self sufficient and majestic which  has undoubted ability to cause a transformation and improvement in us that's far above what our imaginations can fathom and the actual act of leaning towards and the offering of worship to God while  acknowledging and being thankful to him. A deep extent of honor, consistency, continuity and blissful flow will come out of all this. Any commitment deserves this kind of affection, one that's unplanned,  not auditioned, original and genuine. Mary-Magdeline found herself in him, discovered her purpose, erased her shame,  matured in faith and realized the missing link of her distorted life order. It cannot succeed without humility from ones heart.  "My opinion of the Mary-Magdeline type affection. Sandra Refilwe Sello Maphoto"
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

someone out there understands this. :)

 

Isaiah 54

Recently I have been exploring certain concepts in God that I previously did not understand. I have found different ways of searching out truths I either did not know or fully grasp. One of those ways is to read the introduction page of each book. I doubt many people do that. It has become an eye opener and a half. When I plan on starting a new book in the Bible, reading the introduction page always sets the right mood because there’s no more guess work as to what is going on. Also, my mindset is precise as to what the general theme of those specific scriptures are, who the people in there are, what they were all about, the reason the author was in that mental frame, why God was communicating the messages he was and also how what is being said, relates to me. I have completed my journey with my gentle brother Mr. Romantic letters Paul but I will definitely post more on his books. For now I am following Isaiah around. A prophet sent to his people of Jerusalem to warn them about their current lifestyle of sin, failure to trust God and nasty behavior. He also prophesied about the peace that would come in the future. {Chapters 1-39}

In {Chapters 40-55} the people of Judah find themselves in exile Babylon, totally depressed. Isaiah steps in here to encourage them and remind them that God will take them back to their Jerusalem. ‘ A notable theme of these chapters is that God is the Lord of history, and his plan for his people includes their mission to all nations, who will be blessed through Israel" says my NIV introduction page. This is where I started blushing: putting myself in these people’s shoes and hearing the words that prophet Isaiah says in the entire Chapter 54. I have a feeling that among them may have existed a few other priests and prophets but see, God sometimes just equips one among a few to be his mouth piece. Many a times it is not even because they are eloquent or handsome but because of the state of their hearts and a plan of glory on his part. Gentle brother Prophet Isaiah deserves a JOB WELL DONE certificate; he was wise in listening and relating the message from God so well. In chapter 54, I found him using metaphors that just blessed my heart.

It goes:
1. Sing, o barren woman, you who never bore a child; burst into song, shout for joy, you who were never in labor; because more are the children of the desolate woman than of her who has a husband.

4. Do not be afraid; you will not suffer shame. Do not fear disgrace; you will not be humiliated. You will forget the shame of your youth and remember no more the reproach of your widowhood.

5. For your Maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is his name- the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer; he is called God of all the earth.

10. Though the mountains be shaken and the hills be removed, yet my unfailing love for you will not be shaken nor my covenant of peace be removed, says the Lord who has compassion on you.

11. O afflicted city, lashed by storms and not comforted, I will build you with stones of turquoise, your foundations with sapphires.

12. I will make your battlements of rubies, your gates of sparkling jewels, and all your walls of precious stones.

13. All your sons will be taught by the Lord and great will be your children’s peace.

16. See, it is I who created the blacksmith who fans the coals into flame and forges a weapon fit for its work. And it is I who has created the destroyer to work havoc;

17. No weapon formed against you will prevail and you will refute every tongue that accuses you. This is the heritage of the servants of the Lord, and this is their vindication from me, DECLARES THE LORD!!!!!!!
I love precious stone, that’s another one of the reasons I found myself blushing when God started including them in his plan of rebuilding these people’s dwelling place. I am that person who plans to own a few of these precious creations of God. But they were not the only reason I was so happy reading this. God speaks of how the barren woman should just jump up and pull out a few dance moves during her barrenness (and the widow too). This symbolizes lack, unproductivity and insufficiency in all the situations we may find ourselves. But he brings in the concept of remaining joyful amidst all of that. This is a state of really trusting God, it is not easy but it is something we need to do, refuse to become complacent and dine our sorrows with hosting pity parties. He then helps us to see that there is really nothing that comes out of us being ashamed and humiliated by our state, we should look to him and not fear.
When he says: "5. For your Maker is your husband- the Lord Almighty is his name- the Holy One of Israel is your redeemer; he is called God of all the earth.’’ I just can’t help but extend my smile. This loving God is said to be my husband. Oh Jesus. He speaks of not being afraid even when mountains and hills are being removed, this, in my opinion may be those things that protect us and keep us "ever green" and prosperous, the things we depend on that give us security. In our walk in discovering this great God, we need to reach a level of total dependence on him. He says that in the midst of us being stripped off of all that we depend on; his unfailing love will sustain us.


God reminds us at the end of this chapter that he is also the one who permits all the difficult challenges we face, he allows the devil access to us, to shake us up a little, to trick us and make things seem like all the odds of life are against us but in the same breath, he assures us that we will not be harmed, those weapons will not prevail. This may seem like it contradicts itself. See, I think what God thoroughly meant was that in as much as we see our trials as hectic they are minute as opposed to his power to overcome those weapons. He speaks of our heritage, the heritage of winners, successors, victors, conquerors, ok you get it. He calls it ours, so my inheritance in God, your inheritance in God is purely victory. Among barrenness, widowhood, no mountains and valleys and Mr. Havoc and Miss Trouble following us, we are heirs of victory.

I love this God. I hope this has encouraged someone somewhere irrespective of what they may be facing.

My Daddy. God

God

I feel compelled to tell you about this God. The love of my life. Nothing in this world will ever compare to how much I love him. I don’t love him only for what he has done for and through me, but mainly, for whom he is. I have never seen his face, in fact I don’t believe he has a face, I don’t believe he has a human form besides Jesus; I don’t believe I can limit him to a body. He is the air I breathe, he is my sanity. He rises above death and controls birth. He shuts everything he is not pleased to keep flowing. He progresses all that concerns a great return for his will. He is unlimited. He is sovereign, al l so mighty and filled with splendor. I have tried doing this before and I have felt exactly like I am feeling now, I always end up frustrated because my vocabulary fails to express how I really feel about God, I always try to come up with the thoughts I have about him but I end up unable to put down my thoughts into words. Perhaps I should read more and increase my vocabulary, perhaps I should attend some literacy classes that will help me rearrange these words in such a way that I never really run out of expressions. But simply: I am in love. More than in awe. I don’t know how to really explain this but I am going to keep on trying. See God to me, has been a father, a real father, no jokes, he has been to me an aspect I thought I never deserved or was destined to have, a father. He pushed all else aside to father me, I text this with overwhelming emotions because I now know him as the only man who embraces me in my deepest weaknesses, pain, turmoil, hunger and need and just loves me, the only man who goes all out to do anything and everything just to see a smile on my face. Sometimes I just don’t know how to feel because it just overwhelms me how much he loves me. The only man, who wipes away my tears, tucks me in into long warm hugs that leave me feeling sane, restored, alive and normal when the entire world is causing the exact opposite effect. I love how he has won my trust, how for so long he held on and refused to let go of me, how giving up on me was never ever an option. I love how he held my hand through the toughest and most hurting times. I love how he wakes me up every morning and kisses my chicks with the unlimited rays of the sun. I love how he sends drops of rain to replace my tears and cleanse the air for me to breathe in his fresh aura. I love how he pushes out all my thoughts, cares and worries everyday at special moments and whispers words that bring me tranquility. I just love how he smiles at me each time I look in the mirror. I love how I can feel him blowing air into my nostrils when I am overwhelmed and gasping for air. I love how he sustains me when my knees grow weak and my feet can’t balance my body. I love how he picks me up when there is danger in front of me and I am about to get hurt. I love how he holds my hand through hurting moments that he permits to challenge me and strengthen me. I love how he picks the most outrageously tough challenges and obstacle courses for me to go through and then holds my face, kisses my forehead and tells me he is proud when I reach the finish line. I love how when I forget him he reminds me that not a moment passes by that he is not thinking about me. I am in love. I will never trust like I trust God. I will live to worship and serve him. I will live to be what he has made me to be. I will remain in this love; none other can ever come close to this one. I am so in love. It compels me to shed these tears of joy as I think about this God, this Spirit that lives in me. I am taken. I am immersed in such a beautiful love affair that I don’t deserve but enjoy so intensely. I am my father’s little girl. The apple of his eye. His little princess that he is skillfully pruning into a queen. I am my daddy’s flower, with soft petals, amazingly beautiful colors, heavenly silky textured, strong stem and glorious leaves. I am my daddy’s rainbow kisses, I am his magical sprinkles. I am loved by love itself. I am in love. They call him all sorts of fancy names. I call him Papa. My creator.

Habakkuk

I have always found the name Habakkuk as one of the weirdest names I’ve come across, funny in fact.  It is a small book nearly at the end of the Old Testament and I just love it. Here I have learnt the heart of God for me, and I’ve been able to learn to trust that there is no complaint I will ever have that God does not have an answer to. Habakkuk was not a normal or rather conventional prophet who told people what God was saying, instead he told God his and the people’s complaints. A wise thing I see him displaying in that book is waiting patiently on God and putting to good use, his listening skill. I have seen how listening to God can be a problem for many people and I just love how he models a good example for us to be able to sit still and be attentive to what God is saying. It doesn’t say anywhere that God responded with an audible voice so I’ll take it God responded through his (Habakkuk’s) mind and heart. He then carefully wrote down all of God’s answers to his prayers.

He didn’t pester God, he trusted God. He had patience (something I am slowly but surely learning). He continued in prayer when God had answered his complaints, he is like that fella who wrestled God through the form of a strange man, refusing to stop wrestling him until he received a blessing. You must have read about him, right now I can’t recall where he is in the Bible. Habakkuk did not stop, when God finished talking, he laid down another complaint. Perhaps one may judge him for being complacent, but there is a principle of giving all to God and not sitting in our anxiety and confusion * Philippians 4:6* that we can learn from this man.  I then got caught up in one particular sentence that was part of God’s response to Habakkuk’s second complaint.

It says: 2:2-3 Then the Lord replied: write down the revelation (vision) and make it plain on tablets so that a herald (or whoever else that reads it) may run with it. 3 For the revelation (vision) awaits an appointed time, it speaks of the end and will not prove false. Though it lingers, wait for it, it will certainly come and will not delay.

This is a popular scripture; I have read it countless times before but I see a different effect from it tonight. See this was God’s response and we might as well equate it to an instruction on his part. I love how each one of his “instructions or commands” always benefit us. God is setting another principle at work here and he is directing to us to become radical and practical with our dreams and visions. These, by the way are ordained by him, entrusted to us and used by him to shape and groom us into the actual purposes of our existence.   When he says to run with it, I just imagined literal running, holding something in my hand. I have to have a firm grip because the pace and extent of my body movement can easily snatch it out of my hand. It is an extra determent on my side because I will not only have my running to focus on but also the vision I am carefully but quickly transporting.

An appointed time neh. I think I’ve mentioned that Mr. Patience and I have not been getting along but we are resolving our issues. This is an instruction from God, now aside from respect for him; I have chosen to view this one instruction as a learning curve. Those who really know me know that I am a dreamer and I have all sorts of dreams and aspirations. Patience and waiting for an appointed time, my dear friends, is key. See, God just didn’t include this but I think one of the things he meant here was that no fruit can ever be used if it is not ripe. So at the time the vision is ripe and mature in his eyes, he will release it to be used.  He even then assures us that all visions ultimately speak of the end. My Pastor has mentioned how we need to see things with the end in mind, fits so well here.  It will linger for sure, but lingering as God is teaching us here does not mean it is delayed. Seems there is a difference I was never aware of till now. It will certainly come, it also certainly linger but it will not delay. I have to say, I am honestly blessed by this revelation. Writing down and putting plans down on paper is a sure sign of faith, faith that God will bless and increase those he is pleased with and he will help us to grow to understand that others, irrespective of how great they may seem, are either not for us or for that specific season of our lives.  I am encouraged and persuaded that I serve a detailed and a planning God. It is not a good idea to sit and wait for God’s will, playing our part means carefully listening to him, writing down the visions and revelations, and aligning ourselves to God’s will. “God blesses the work of our hands, not our hands.” Benny Hinn said earlier. The harvest comes when we work. Working towards those visions means being guided by God concerning those visions

 

Can someone say AMEN with me hle.   

Unbelievers as our friends

I really had to share this one, I came across it a while back and posted it on my Facebook notes and now I figured, why not put it here.

Should Christian's have Unbelieving Friends?
Study By: Michael Patton



How many friends do you have that don’t know Christ? Better put, how many people who are not Christians would call you their friend? The statistics are clear; once the average person becomes a believer in Christ, he or she loses contact with all unbelieving friends within two years. This might be termed “pagan friend shedding.” Some shed themselves of their former relationships with unbelievers on purpose and some as a consequence of their new life. A misinterpretation of 2 Corinthians 6:14 might be used as justification: “Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness?” Therefore, many believe to be Christian means that we lose all association with unbelievers. But this is a wrong interpretation. Paul is not telling us not to have unbelieving friends, but not to join together with unbelievers in their practices and worldview. In other words, the yoking together means to join with them in their lifestyle and belief system, and, therefore, becoming like them. This does not mean that we are not to have unbelieving friends. Christians should have unbelieving friends. Let me give you four reasons why Christians should be intentional about having friends that do not know Christ.

They are sick and in need of hope.
Today more than ever we live in a world of hopelessness. People today are searching for something to believe, they just don’t know what and they don’t know where to go. The “religious leaders” of Christ’s day had this philosophy of “pagan friend shedding.” Seeing Christ eating and drinking with unbelievers (befriending them), they began to look down upon him. Christ responded by telling them that “it is not those who are healthy who need a physician, but those who are sick (Matt. 9:12). Sadly, many Christians today would, like the “religious leaders” look down upon Christ for giving hope to the sick.

They keep you real.
Many of us have been in Christian circles so long that we don’t know what it is like in the world outside of Christianity. Our terminology and thought pattern can quickly turn into “folk theology.” “Folk theology” is having a belief or practice and not knowing why we have it or what it means. You may have quaint sayings or Christian cliché which, if challenged on them, you would be at a loss as to what they mean. In exclusive Christian circles, you may be able to get away with saying, “the Spirit moved,” but an unbeliever would challenge you saying, “What exactly does it mean that ‘the Spirit moved.’” Do you know? Having unbelieving friends keeps you real.

They are not shy about their struggles and ask great questions.
Believers sometimes feel that it is “unchristian” to ask tough questions. This should not be. Believers should always be the first to ask the tough questions. The earliest definition of theology given by Anselm in the 11th century was credo ut intelligam “faith seeking understanding.” Unbelievers struggle and have real tough questions that believers should pay attention to. For example, an unbeliever may have a real struggle with the doctrine of hell. Many believers would bypass the difficulties of the question saying that it does not bother them because the Bible teaches it. It’s the “the Bible says it, that does it” mentality. While it is true that the Bible teaches it, it is a great difficulty that believers need to recognize. Hell brings great distress to the heart of unbelievers, and it should bring great distress to our heart as well. Hell is a reality, but some people make the doctrine of hell very cold. Unbelievers ask good questions that believers need to have seriously struggled with and considered.

Because Christ had unbelieving friends.
Christ was on a mission to reconcile the world to Himself. He had both unbelieving friends and believing friend. He sought to win the lost and to disciple the won. There was a great balance in his ministry. If you want to follow Christ’s example, associate with all those in need. The Kingdom will be here soon. Let us keep our focus straight. The one thing we will not be able to do in heaven is to bring an unbeliever to Christ. Let us have unbelieving friends.

hope you concur friends.

Colosse

Another amazing weekend with my awesome Bethesda Singles family at our Caribbean outing, well it left me exhausted as if I did any of the physical games. Nonetheless, I crawled to bed shortly after getting home so 20h00 did not find me fully alive.

 

That was a good thing because Sunday morning I was up at 06h00. I had four hours before leaving the house. The Sacred space on Metro always just soothes the mood, this time it was blending in with Colossians 1. This letter from our romantic gentle brother Paul (God bless his rich soul) to the saints # I find this saints word s heavy hey sheeesh# at Colosse just shifted the position of my heart a little to the right. I think right now it has a new position, like somewhere miraculously in between or high chances are it’s all in my head hehehehe. But no man, you know what I mean.

So Colossians 1 as I mentioned, had certain points in it that just spoke volumes into my life and my quest of getting to discover and explore more of God. I am going to try my level best to lay it out the way it has been planted inside my heart and hope you get a feel of why I think this shifted my heart to squeeze into a different position.

3 we always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ when we pray for you, 4 because we have heard of your faith in Jesus Christ and of the love you have for all the saints -5 the faith and love that springs from the hope that is stored up for you in heaven, and that you have already heard about from the word of truth, the gospel 6 that has come to you.

 Paul thanks God, he has an attitude of being grateful and appreciates God for these people, it must mean they are worthy of being so appreciated because of the way they conduct and live out their faith. We need to find ourselves being those people that when thought of, others are grateful to God for our existence. These people display a different kind of faith, one that he specifically calls to have sprung from heaven itself through hope. He also applauds them for having heard the word of truth, which is the gospel. I don’t think he would have mentioned their hearing of the gospel, which he espouses as truth, had he not seen the after effects of their hearing it in them.

6 continues to say: all over the world, this gospel is bearing fruit and growing, just as it has been doing among you since the day you heard it and understood God’s grace in all its truth.

This gospel seems to have spread and fortunately, like with them, has been growing and showing real results (fruits). I love how he just wants to point out his observation or rather what he has been told about their attitude and response to it; one of understanding. To them it came with the full realization of God’s grace. These people where a different breed I tell you hey, I honestly yearn that such may be seen and said in and about you and I as followers of this amazing man called Jesus Christ.

10 and we pray this in order that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and may please him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God, 11 being strengthened with all power according to his glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience…

We have seen how Paul feels about these people, they had it together when it comes to their faith in God, but he continues to pray for them to live lives worthy of the Lord, this should show you and I that we are never really there, we can never say we have arrived and we have made it, we know it all, we understand, we have the revelations all stacked up in our brains. Faith is progressive; we need to have an unending thirst of knowing God. He prays this so that they may please God, honestly by now, God is pleased by these fellas but see what I mean, we need to strive to maintain that, we can’t fight to constantly attain it but we can maintain the standard we have set within ourselves to please God, and even raise it because we will be understanding and knowing who he is more and more. I struggle with patience, endurance I have seen myself grip in certain situations but patience, oh help me Lord, this came as a lesson that patience is not just another fruit (result) of the Spirit but it is a praiseworthy character trait and it comes from God, I can’t source it out of myself, I need to submit and ask God to lead and school me on patience.

…and joyfully 12 giving thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of the saints in the kingdom of light.

Did someone see that? God qualifies us bathing, He just takes us as we are, confused, ignorant, naïve, frustrated, without form or direction, works on us and then by himself, through himself and for himself qualifies us. Like I don’t know hey. In Sepedi we say : “a ke sa tseba”. So in this way, when we relate this scripture towards us, I (you too) am now qualified to share in the inheritance of the saints (that word again) in the kingdom of the light. Me. You. It is no wonder he prays to God that they should give thanks joyfully. Nothing that God love like a cheerful, zealous and vibrant attitude towards Him.

13 for he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into th kingdom of the Son he loves, 14 in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.

 

I rest my case bazalwane.

When my heart was fragile.....

I came across this in my emails, I have been writing all sorts of weird things in my life. I seem to be successfully recovering them. though I should share, copied it the way it is lol.
-----Original Message-----
From: refiloesandra@yahoo.com
Date: Tue, 18 Oct 2011 23:05:53
To: Olorato<thesociopolitician@gmail.com>
Reply-To: refiloesandra@yahoo.com

Subject: Fragile heart

Its often the essence of our inner being that brings enough sense into our worlds. Its the priceless moments that capture us. Its that right standing of an unshakable and rigid knowledge that you have all the strength in the world to overcome anything. Worlds shatter, nerves become the catalyst to uncontrollable emotional in and out flows, when the heart feels fragile. Vulnerable. Weak. Unstable. Confused. Indecisive. When a heart almost seems misplaced in its own shell. When the glass breaking sounds inside your head send chills down your spine. Unworthy and in pain, it slowly turns from rock solid to melted larva. Fragile heart, what are you doing to me, really, where am I going to end up with you leading me so dismally?? I'm crushing and burning..- can't stand this these jelly knees. Fragile heart don't lead me astray..lead me to him. Allow me to that exciting uncertain road, familiar yet so new, fragile heart...I don't trust you but I am holding on to my last breath, giving you another chance!
*its got plain and usual diction, that's how far my writing is!
Sent via my BlackBerry from Vodacom - let your email find you!

The mirror

I think among any objects ever created, there is nothing quite as influential to our  self esteem, self worth and self  evaluations as the mirror. It is a problem so to say and equally, a solution. It is the practical aspect of introspection. The mirror has played a powerful role in my life, like the camera. It has epitomized  the evolution of who I defined as Sandra throughout the past 10years. Its more than reflection, it carries with it a blend of  critically positive and negative effects. I have read of people who spend their lives avoiding it because of what those effects basically do to them. Let's agree that that's not the best solution considering that those feelings should be the deepest motivators to change that image they see in the mirror (its clear it is what they fear). I have hated and loved being in front of the mirror and I've accepted some phases that made me dread that thing hanging on my wall. I've smashed a few (previous anger tantrums). The smashing helped ease the emotions in those moments but gave me an avid slap in the face about how I felt about myself and what I needed to do besides going out to buy another one. I have no fancy advice for someone reading this who currently avoids the mirror but simply that there's a mirror whose reflection you can develop  onto who you already are.  The Bible Honey. Chances are that you will get to know yourself as though you haven't been able to all along. Other chances are you will accept all that has made you avoid the mirror, discover ways to deal away with the fears, frustrations and anxieties that come with the image you see in the mirror.  Its a book filled with romantic love letters well written by God through other people. Its a world on its own. Its a mirror. A clear and precise one.  In those pages, I've gotten to discover who I am and  who God is. So many things contribute to the current theme of my life *Discovering God; finding Me* and one of them is the mirror, the one in my room, my cosmetic purse, bathroom and the Bible. There's no formula on how to discover your true self who will love the mirror irrespective of how you feel and look. Whatever issue, pertinent, crucial, traumatic etc that. You are facing, that reflection is all you are, depending on how you view it.  I love you I do.

Appeasing my conscience.

Conscience: an aptitude, faculty, intuition or judgment that assists in distinguishing right from wrong. Doing something knowing full well how wrong that is. I won't even front, I know how exactly how it feels. The after effects are always a rush of emotions led by Mr Guilt himself. The phrase "my conscience had the best of me" then makes proper sense.

 We all have systems we have developed that help us soothe the hell that burns within. I know of someone who will go to the extent of running triple the normal time if he indulges in junk. I, on the other hand, always end up feeling like I am carrying a strong stallion on my shoulders should I land in a puddle of mud. Its not easy to live a guilt free life when there is so much to be cautious of.
The concept of attaining peace still seems like something hard to earn (mainly because we don't fully understand God's role in this). Appeasing my conscience has probably been one of those "skills" I've mastered unaware. "I'll just be extra committed to that schedule next week by waking up extra early" or "I'll just get home and drink a litre or 2 of lemon warm water to wash down all this fat". [To a certain degree, some methods don't appease anything.]

I've seen how the concept of appeasing one's conscience is one that eish, stresses us all. It doesn't just end at being unable to follow rules or the vows  and goals we have set, it carries through to the core of our characters and binds us. For me it has effortlessly helped me keep an excellent record of all my wrongs, which like you can guess, helped me hate myself. It wasn't too long when I started  thinking and doing crazy things *breaking mirrors like I posted in MIRROR*.

I had to make a decision: appeasing my conscience needed to be replaced. I'd accepted the human being in me and have safely submitted her into God's hands. HENCE, Mr Appeasing and I had to break up.

He didn't help, actually he made things worse. I exchanged appeasing my conscience to admission, repentance and peace. I figured, since I have an awesome God looking out for me, why not run to Him when I'm soaking in filth and guilt? And you know what?! I'm smiling. :)

Renew my mind?????

Those who really know me know my love for Michael Buble’s music. I recall it was June 2010 when I was introduced to his music. I honestly did not like it at first but after a while I decided to give him a chance, loaded all his albums in my mp3 player and got on a mission to hear what the fella was trying to communicate to me. My oh my did I fall in love; I can’t go for a long time without my sugar Michael fix. I listen to him even when I am studying, I know a hand full of his tracks off by heart and in some songs those funny gestures like the ohs, ahs, uhms. What has happened is that most of his music is now safely tucked in my subconscious mind. We all have that song we know, we can go years without singing it but the moment we hear it we sing along, drag our breaths the way the singer does, do the ahs, yeahs, uhms, ers, and pause when they pause. You know what I am talking about. I was shocked to discover I still know every single word and gesture of a song I last heard in grade 7, it used to be on repeat, the disc was a gift from a neighbor who had a crush on me, I think Elijah is his name, I repeated those songs so much I think my mom was involved in the crime scene of its disappearance. Renewal of the mind.

 “The reason we can’t get things to work out in our lives is because we only renew our mind’s spirit to its conscious level” Creflo Dollar said earlier. Now that got me thinking. He made a similar example to the ones I just made above. I have played Buble’s music so much that it left my conscious mind and has settled into my subconscious. It is effortless for me to sing his songs, I don’t have to think and scratch my kaffir hare *forgive me to those who are extra sensitive to the k word, my hair is what we blacks call kaffir hare, thick, course, curled up and hard to maintain* to recall the lyrics, no effort, just words flowing. Have you seen a late mom in the morning driving past taking her children to school? She can drink coffee, put the cup back into the car cup holder, adjust the music volume, put on her mascara at the red ‘robot’, fasten the little ones seat belt, then answer her phone or quickly reply to a text, all the while driving. This only means she is not using extensive effort in her driving, it is so well imbedded in her subconscious that she does not have to remind herself to brake, she does not have to say out loud “clutch, change gear, indicate, turn, hoot, yield, go slow, stop” *you know the drill*. All she does is just drive. It’s almost effortless in the true sense of the phrase. Renewal of the mind.

Now I have become challenged to renew my mind concerning my knowledge, understanding and application of the word of God in my life. See, I know Michael Buble’s songs so effortlessly but my mind has not been renewed to the state of instantaneous reactions of scripture when panic, fear, and turmoil creep in. I am challenged to renew my mind concerning the word of God, I know scriptures and what some say, what they mean and how they have changed and sharpened my understanding and walk in God but I have not renewed my mind enough like I have with Michaels’s romantic lyrics. Renewal of the mind.

Creflo put it so well, when you repeat something so often that it sticks to your subconscious, each time you repeat it, your mind is being renewed to that particular thing, each repeat increases its value, clarity, understanding, revelation, love and fondness. I honestly have not cracked the mind renewal trick when it comes to certain scriptures and a few other aspects of my life. He said something along these lines “when you have repeated and understood a scripture, when you are faced with a situation that links to it, the music goes on and the lyrics *scripture* flows out of you, either as a song, prayer or confession.” Lord I want to reach that stage, phela it sometimes takes a while to have the linking scripture flow like Michaels lyrics do. Renewal of the mind.

I hope you concur.

Bragging rights

I noticed the other day that Google has a space in our profiles where you are asked to share your ‘bragging rights’. These are described as things you are proud to have achieved and the examples include: degrees or a leadership position or even personal life achievements such as being a hard working single mother of two toddlers. Recently I was taught about something Sam (the pastor; lol someone will get this) called divine enablement. He was basically making us aware that we are enabled to do what we are able to do through a divine intervention from God. Lord I hope that makes sense to someone. People are not born able to do all they do, it’s a decision on God’s part what he enables us to be able to do. This is why certain people he has enabled to walk and others he chose not to. I have never liked the term “crippled” and it makes more sense to me why we politely substitute it with ‘physically challenged or disabled’.

We are propelled to do certain things mainly because of our strongest impressions and convictions. Look at athletes for instance; it grows beyond just their talent or skill in that particular sport but what they are convicted about. Be it physical fitness or maintenance. There so many other examples that can follow this statement but I’m sure there’s a few you will think of. What that basically means is, we have strong impressions or convictions that move us to do certain things, think certain thoughts and react in certain ways, but all of that gets enabled divinely so by God. When we are aware that we are enabled by God, we develop an attitude of gratitude and humility that helps us to be better people. I know of many people who don’t exactly believe in this notion, who are highly successful and keep doing great things. Now, here’s where I assume we differ: they believe everyone is able to do anything they put their mind to, which is true, I on the other hand believe God enables me to be able to do anything I put my mind to do, and that there is a thick connection of his enablement between me putting my mind on doing something even excellently so and the actual doing. Side note: No swimmer has ever tried to swim up on a mountain, and no mountain climber has ever tried to climb up a pool.

 

When we are convinced of God’s enabling power we also become aware of the greatness we possess. We stop limiting ourselves and we stop being boastful and prideful. There is a difference in bragging rights and being boastful. The other day Joseph Prince made a statement that made this point even clearer: “when God’s love dwells in you, you cannot be boastful of anything but you become humble” .We all have different talents, convictions, passions and abilities but we must remember that God’s love constrains us to be who we are and do what we can (enables us to be able to do what we do) and we can then not boast (there’s a difference between bragging rights and boasting) about anything.  We cannot exercise anything we do for God (which should be everything we do really) without him enabling us.

I am divinely enabled to be able to have abilities that enable me to be able. Aitch!!!!!!!!

 

its a LOVE thing

A topic that keeps resurfacing in my life. Love. Actually, that love thing. It’s a little over midnight, came home from church yesterday from a fun and eventful weekend, one where I was just so blessed to have had. Mainly because I got yet another opportunity to learn a different aspect of God. I have become an avid lover of music concerts and when they are centered around Christ it’s just like a store of lots of candy, chocolate and cake (you guys know my love for the sugary things in life). I was at one that just shifted my perception of worship, what an exhilarating that was. As a matter of fact, I found myself challenged at how I have viewed God in relation to worship. That’s a topic for another day, but for now, that love thing. Paul, that man in the Bible who writes these amazingly emotional love letters, has done it again.

In his letter to the Ephesians he states something that just, well, in a way or two blows my mind away:  in Ephesians 3:14-19 he says:  For this reason I kneel before the Father from whom his whole family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches, he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith.

 

Can I just pause a little and bask in this love thing? Ok. Thanks. Here’s the thing, I strongly believe that among many of the facets of love I will ever discover, there is none that comes so close to being genuine and profound than that of Christ dwelling in someone’s heart and having his presence move things around, in faith. Faith to me is like a catalyst. An action or reaction to prove a theory. It’s another form of that love thing. I always say, I am in love with a man whose face I’ve never seen, whose hand I have never held, whose scent I’ve never smelt. This is faith. Loving an intangible being so tangibly.

Now to continue at 17b and I pray that you being rooted in love may have the power together with all saints, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge- that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.

I am officially on a mission; I really have to just tap into this love thing. If it is the last thing I do on earth. To grasp this love, in all its measures, is a part I am (we are) going to have to play. You only get to understand something, when you meditate on it *queues vinyl scratch sound*   spiritual jargon out, when you spend time and make efforts to know it more, understand it and trust it. We can never boldly talk about loving anything when we are not well acquainted and well informed about it. In order to discover all these measures of God’s love, there is a need for research. Research your life and where love has been love and loved you. Research the people around you. Research your heart. When we closely look at our lives, love just reigns supreme even without us taking frequent notice of it.  We need to find it in ourselves to attain being filled to the measure of all the fullness of God like Paul wishes for his Ephesians friends.

The fullness of all that is God is vast and beautiful. It is forgiveness, mercy, humility, peace of mind and peace with others, it is fun, it is challenging, it is breathtaking and it is faith-filled. This love thing compels me to share, to even get emotional when I am overcome with joy or sorrow and to laugh at myself when I fail to comprehend that in all things, there is love. It’s a love thing hle. J

 

Inspiration

Television.

 

That square box that reveals the world on just another unbelievable level. It’s after effects are rather deep for one to try and define or describe. I am a T.V fan. Every time I am free and my daily schedule doesn’t have me running around assignments or proposals or doing sit ups, cooking or whatever else, I sit and watch T.V. Among many things that the telly contributes in my life, one that sticks out like a sore thumb is inspiration. I am aware of all the detrimental effects it has on one’s mind, hence I am selective of what I entertain on the line ups. I have mastered the skill of selective everything lol, selective listening, watching, reading, selective everything.

Here’s the thing, many of the ideas we come up with are either going to end up on the newspapers, Facebook time lines, twitter handles, our blogs an or even the T.V. many also come from all those platforms. When we achieve anything or even fail at something, these platforms give us an opportunity to share with the world to either inspire someone, teach someone our lesson or just brag. Today I was inspired by the T.V. I am writing this in bed at 10:44 in the morning because for the past three days I have been down with the famous spring entrance flu.

Most of my mornings (thank God to my awesome timetable for having afternoon classes all week) I spend watching T.V: Creflo Dollar, Joyce Meyer and Joseph Prince in that order. Now here is why I say today the telly inspired me. I watched all these people live their dreams, fulfill their callings and reproduce themselves. Then it hit me, that’s the main reason everyone else on T.V is on there, they are doing just that. It is a platform just like the teachers in the classrooms, the prosecutors in the court rooms, the nurses in the hospitals and so forth.

Any platform becomes a home when what you are doing there is your life’s purpose. It becomes second nature. It becomes almost effortless and blissful. This made me aware that we are as responsible for our dreams as much as we are responsible for executing them. All these Pastors play a huge role using the black box as their platform just as our celebrities do to teach, admonish, alter and even improve our mindsets (completely depending on what you watch and how you interpret it all). Some things I watch echo in my mind for such a long time and their meanings make me perceive life differently.  Not all of us dream to make it to the screens but the point I am trying to drive home is that, inspiration comes out of it and that should say a mouth full to us about any other platform we espouse as our dream.

 

 

It is finished

It is finished

By Sandra Refilwe Maphoto

16 September 2013 01:59

The cultivation of your peace in my life

Is not earned by my part in any strive

I am gifted in your love

Like the fair white coat on that dove

You completed the entire process

So as to see it fulfill in my life clear progress

I am in awe that your blood revealed

So simply and so deeply it appealed

That your love for me

That your grace for me

That your plea for me

That your devotion to me

Is finished

I nearly chocked when you took your last breath

You uttered the words in all your depth

And then I knew all I had to do, was simply maintain

It’s not that I could ever even attain

All that you did for me Jesus

All that you are to me sweet Savior

I really couldn’t earn that favor

It is indeed finished

Help me to maintain

Because I know you sustain.

You have finished it all.

Mindset alterations

 

 

Recently in a conversation between Zee and I, *a new friend *she made some valuable points about us Christians, among many of those was one that went along these lines: “girla, we Christians have become so relaxed and have an assumption that all things will automatically go well and we become complacent when they don’t.” I am watching Joyce Meyer as I write this post and she is mentioning some qualities that come with the knowledge and understanding of grace. She is focusing on how grace helps us to be little to not complacent. I am now aware of what then becomes a blockage for unbelievers to admire or yearn to be Christians. In one of my recent and much happier posts *Eavesdropping*, I spoke about how Christians tend to have their lives so good that others notice. The opposite is also as effectual. And this is all because we have missed the grace mark. Throughout the book of Exodus are complaints over complaints from the Israelites concerning the journey out of Egypt. These fellas whined so much that it became somewhat irritating. For some odd reason their eyes where shut to the grace of God. They were alive, they never starved thanks to manna and they had a pillar of fire lead them at night, and a cloud during the day. But noooooo, those where not enough to have an attitude of gratitude. See I am seeing so many traits in us modern Christians that make us so similar to them. It is no wonder unbelievers think and say what they say.

 I have been asking around about the general opinions people have on believers and God. Someone responded to my text and in her response she said “well I just don’t like how Christianity alters people’s mindsets and they become unable to be independent in their decisions”. This blew my mind on so many levels because it makes no sense to believe in something you have never seen or touched, or to give that entity full control of your life, or to surrender even your thought life to it. But it shouldn’t make sense. We all believe in different forces that we have no logical explanation to defend. Anyway, back to my point of grace and gratitude. I believe there will be a paradigm shift in how we view life, worship and conduct ourselves, when we focus on the grace of God in our lives.

 The aim is not to show unbelievers that we are now aware that our lives don’t exactly suck, but the point is peace within ourselves. We are wired differently. True maturity is acknowledging that we are not ourselves (for I l no longer live but Christ lives in me; for me to live is Christ and to die is gain)

 and that in not being ourselves, we still have a clear and great contribution in who we become (decisions, choices and options available to us for everything) and also being aware of the grace deposited by our heavenly Father which will make us have a gratitude mentality which will end up with us having peace of mind in God, not laziness. I see a mathematical sum here: {Maturity and peace= dependence on God + our part in deciding + grace consciousness + attitude of gratitude.} Indeed our mindsets are altered by what we believe and entertain but our mindsets, like any other muscle needs to be trained in order to have the proper shape, the right size and have the right amount of power to sustain us when we are faced with opposition and have heavy situations to pick up and carry. We need to become radical Christians who don’t believe in a free joy ride but are able to take what comes along without complacency and whining.

Now that, is a new alteration we need to make on our mindsets.

Philippians 1:6

Philippians 1:6 says something so profound, something that has assured me the many times when I found myself in tears. It reads: “ …Being confident of this, that he who begun a good work in you, will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.” It is a continuation of Paul telling the Philippians how grateful he is of who they are, that he thanks God each time he remembers them. Haai these people seemingly must have been a special bunch to him. My uncle (I call him bigbro) Michael Maphoto has this weird habit of laughing things off whenever I am extremely emotional and feeling crazy. It didn’t make sense to me, well it still doesn’t when I am fuming and throwing my toys all over the place lol. But I’ve picked up so much in his responses. Sandy, relax, you will be fine, it’s ok, you can do it, it’s not the end, stop being crazy, you need anger management etc. These responses usually, after a good outburst make me view my problem from his eyes, he laughs because when he compares me to the problem, its well, funny.  In as much as I will be panicking, someone else’s view is just funny, funny in the sense that it’s all really nothing I should fear  and be panicking over.

 It becomes easier for me to the focus my mind on the end goal of my tribulations and remember that I am not destined to fail irrespective of how many times I will encounter failure in my journey. This is why Philippians 1:6 is such an awesome love poem for me and you from God. A short one inspired by the Holy Spirit so that Paul may remind us that God is in control. He starts a good thing in us (many in fact) and has one goal: to complete it. My Pastor said something the other day that made me hold on to my chair: “it is the purpose of God in question, not your purpose”. In other words, God is fulfilling His purpose in me on earth, not that I am fulfilling my own purpose; it’s all about Him in the end. My career, my plans, my dreams are all in the end fulfilling *GOD’S* purpose. And for all we encounter, for all that we learn and experience, He will complete the good work, if it’s His work, he will fit the bill and supply all in His way. Relax. Relax Sandy. J