God was speaking to Cain. That guy who killed his only
brother then. We all know Cain. Some hate his guts, many don’t understand him
and even more have used him as a great example to “be my (their) brother’s
keeper”. God used Cain to teach me one of the most important things I think I
will ever learn. I am a passionate person; many people I know are just like me.
I am passionate, unfortunately with even the wrong things at times. Anger for
one. This is not an easy post to type but I am sure God is achieving more than
I can comprehend right now with it. The other day I become so annoyed, in fact
very angry, I went to bed fuming. I could not even sleep. I cried, wiped my
tears, rolled over a million times, switched the radio on, made a long phone
call to Maropeng, read a magazine and then I realized, the sun was coming up.
Boy was I pissed off. Jehovah.
It was not too long after that, that I came across this
scripture. Before I came across it though, I exhausted myself to a halt of
madness because of my anger. After a sleepless night, I “woke” up, bathed, did
not even have breakfast and walked all the way from my house to the cemetery
(and my is that a distance, when I pass by it in the taxi I just laugh at that
stunt). Not to visit anyone, I just realized after two hours that I was
actually just walking aimlessly. I had remembered to grab my bag and laptop bag
with me. I was just like some zombie who had no assignment on earth. A family
of four found me, I had a blister and decided aowa Refilwe, sit down, found a
shade in front of the cemetery and just sat down like I’m waiting for someone.
The family gave me a lift into town. I
was so exhausted. I realized then that anger is doing nothing but ruining my
life. It’s not healthy or safe either.
Cain was one angry dude (lol I know males hate this word).
In Genesis 4:6-7 God firmly reminds him of something important:
Then
the Lord said to Cain, “Why are you angry? Why is your face downcast? If you do
not do what is right, will you not be accepted? But if you do not do what is
right, sin is crouching at your door; it desires to have you, but you must
master it”
One of the aftermaths of what I did was driving my worried
boyfriend a little insane, I am glad my mom does not know about this. This too was not right. God speaks of
acceptance. For Cain it was the reason for his anger but for me is acceptance
from him. God loves us. He cares for us. He wants us to come to him even when
we are furious. This was more of him saying: ‘banna Refilwe, I love you so
much, should you really be so drenched in anger that you can’t even discern
that I ACCEPT you with that mountain heap of anger?” being angry is normal and
purely natural. Anger in itself serves a great and profitable purpose of
changing and challenging us. I am sure you have learnt of the positive
attributes of anger. My anger though was NOT right. It was not supposed to have
gone that far. I have done some even more crazy things in the name of my now
ex-boyfriend Mr. Anger and now I am grateful of this firm, yet painfully
disciplining word of my Father through
Cain’s account.
He says that sin crouches at my door because of anger. You
know that annoying thing that happens when you cook something (like tripe) then
in a short space of time, there are black little noisy friends (flies) lurking
around and crouching in the kitchen. Yes. That’s what anger does. It attracts
sin. Sin against ourselves and ultimately God.
I always say this and I will repeat it, I am being born again and saved,
delivered and enticed by God on a daily basis. I am almost certain I will come
across something that makes me really angry soon, please, if you meet me and I
am furious, remind me of this post or buy me a bucket of strawberry Turkish
cubes neh. I will though and I hope you do too, learn and go over and over what
God is saying here.
I trust that you concur.
Love you.
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