Revisit

At the break of dawn, when silence equals to tranquility, when the breeze sends reminders of an  awakening yet to come, I found myself again.
I rediscovered I AM... Back here again, faced with the inscrutable  reality of my own existence.

It's a blend of Tenacity and Love that has safely transported me through the many realms of this exhilarating  yet mundane life. A blend so rigid and highly concentrated, that the discovery keeps becoming a force I'm reckoning with.

 

Confrontations of results from my previous discoveries  meant I'd have to account to self, just how I made it and perhaps why I didn't. Maintenance of the flow that binds up my existence to my purpose continues, only in need of more attention.

It had to be at the break of dawn, when the presence of sunlight is at its weakest but it's intention to brighten is at its strongest. Moments that ooze of hope and leave you convinced of an inner strength you'd forgotten was ever present yet rarely utilised.

 

"Hello self. We meet again! "

 

The most dominant of all that accompanies the build up to this point, is the sweet scent of the newness of I AM. The heart racing and mind throbbing exchange of confidentiality agreements and release permission slips with myself. New encounters making this scent richer. A beginning escalating the pace of this scent.

 

"Hi. We do indeed. Perfect timing...just as something new is sprouting out of the fertile soil."

At the break of dawn, when sounds equal to possibilities , when the streaks of light sends reminders of victories yet to come, I found myself again.
I rediscovered I AM... Back here again, faced with the alluring  reality of my own existence.

 

 

Revisit.

 

 

I am back. About to add more to this blog. For me. For you. For them. For others

The Richest Woman in Town

So I just came across a beautiful piece about faith in my Bible. I know someone out there is going to enjoy this one and I'm certain it will not only bless but deliver and encourage someone else. I love you all and appreciate you taking your time to visit this Blog.

Here goes:

"Rahab was a prostitute who lived in Jericho. The Bible doesn't speak of her having a husband. She had every man in town. Sarah, Abraham's wife, stayed in the tent and knitted socks. She moved with her husband wherever he went and took care of him. There was no similarity in the lifestyles of these two women; the only similarity they shared, was faith. God saw faith in Rahab that he saw in Sarah.

Just before the famous battle of Jericho, the prostitute decided to take a stand on the side of God's people. She hid their spies. Her decision was based on faith. Faith is an action. Rahab took action because she believed that God would deliver her when Jericho fell to the Israelites.

Sarah received strength to carry and deliver a child when she was old. She took action because she believed God-that he was faithful to do what he had promised (see Hebrews 11:11).

Regardless of your position or your past, God raises people up equally. No matter how many mistakes you have made, it is your faith God honors. You have blown it, but God is in the business of restoring broken lives and rebuilding homes. You may have been like Rahab, but if you can believe God, he will save your house.

When Jericho fell, he didn't save Rahab alone; he saved her entire household. All other homes in Jericho were destroyed. The only house God saved in the whole city was the house of where the prostitute lived! You would have thought he would save some some nice little old lady's cottage, with petunias growing outside the door. But God saved the prostitute's house. Was it because he wanted her place? No, it was because he wanted her faith. It is faith that moves GOD.

If you believe that your background will keep you from moving forward with God, then you don't understand that the thing he is asking from you, is faith. Those who live good, clean, separated lives may be proud of how holy they are. But God honors faith. In the Bible, he healed some folks who weren't even saved, because God honours faith.

There was something valuable in Rahab's house. Faith was there. God protected her from fire because of her faith. But he also saved her belongings. When the fire was over, Rahab was the only women left who owned any property. She was the richest woman in town. "

Now go out there and let your faith leave you unnoticed.

Relentlessly falling

Things in my life are radically changing.
Its funny yet intense. I can't stop to breath before the next whirl takes place.
I am seeing phases transpire that I haven't prepared for.
I am welcoming new methods. What I knew as truth is being challenged daily.
The revelations don't give me time for conviction but cling to my heart relentlessly.

Sooner than I expect, these revelations show up in ways so tangible I can only gasp for the little remaining crisp air surrounding me.

Lines that where invisible are neon. All I've been taught is being put to test.
Things piled up, neatly folded, strategically organized and conveniently waiting to be received or produced, slowly fade.
It doesn't move me like I'd imagined.
It merely relaxes me.
I'd planned all right.
Just...
Seems to me God has it all under control. Its a blend of anxiety and excitement.
Falling not knowing the landing spot or texture but knowing I'll live to do it again.

Selah

Challenge the way I pray Lord.
Moreover, challenge the way I live.
Challenge my thinking.
Moreover, challenge my stand.

That girl Filoe

I grew up in a beautiful home, filled with laughter and Bible verses. My single mother epitomized everything I want to be when I grow up. She built a house that was a home to my siblings and I. She taught us to pray and to refuse to be sick. Life outside of home was even more interesting. Living in an upcoming urban area meant learning to succumb to patterns and lifestyle choices that made me comfortable, accepted and well, ordinary.
School has always been the highlight of my experience. From learning a language to challenging opponents right through to even familiarizing myself to even the teacher's characteristics was and still is a beautiful mystery in my eyes. To me, the virtue of growth is discovery. Been afforded countless opportunities to find something that was there long before I was, to scrutinize and evaluate it and to end up mastering it strikes me as the master of all rewards. Especially because no one is born deserving of the opportunity of learning, but by God's positioning each child gets served their portion.
I'm of the deepest conviction that from the home setup, to the classroom and even to the maternity ward, the essence of life comes in the most pleasant and most excruciatingly bitter doses. I say this now because the first 19 years of my life prepared my for a ride on a fierce and rowdy whirlwind.
I can't fathom the agony of an everlasting wound that doesn't heal even though time is moving. Hence I'm writing this post. Shortly after I turned 19 I was brutally attacked, kidnapped and gang raped by three vicious men. My wound is healing. From the home my mother built, to the eloquent speaker my English teacher brewed to the street smart urban babe my peers groomed, I found myself in an emotional, physical, psychological and spiritual cal-de-sack.
Life as I knew it changed. Totally and drastically. Hatred tasted as real as course sea salt on a sensitive pallet.
Breaking free from the pain meant killing myself. Escaping the reality of been tortured so brutally and mercilessly simply and clearly meant to end my life. It was that way or no other way. Face it to live or end it by dying I preached to myself for the first 6 months preceding that disastrous night. When your body goes through a certain amount of pain that you feel as though life itself is rejecting you, that's the very point of surrender.
Its been 4 years and 8months and I can't help but smile through the tears. I was a victim. Then a survivor. Then a patient. Then a medical experiment. Then a case study. Then a statistic. Then a student. Now an ambassador. All because of surrender. The type of surrender that benefits you.
Oftentimes I sit and recall it all, and I realize that the grander scheme of purposeful existence, is passion. For life through pain, or numbness through death. We are presented with that choice each day. Feel the tension, pressure and strain through the liveliness of your young body OR not, by seizing to feel or respond to anything. Being raped not only meant I'd hate men, it meant I couldn't escape them. I wake up everyday and CHOOSE to love, respect, honor and pray for them.
At19, life had not "begun". But mine did that night. See, its difficult. Tough. Strenuous. Really just an uphill battle. There is not a time when life makes precise sense in our own human understanding from that type of assault. A phoenix is said to rise from ashes. I grew up in a beautiful home, neighborhood, school system, church, family......
Today I am a phoenix.
I did not rise from that furnace to be a sex, rape and abuse celeb, I rose up to pull out other phoenix' still buried in ash.
My getting raped could have symbolized an unfair God to the world but it symbolized purpose to me.
A week into my quest, I am reflecting on the goodness and character of the God my mother still teaches and testifies to me about.
A week into this birth I can already see the labor of love and the fruits of sacrifice that are going to be the pillars to this building.
A week into it and I know, I was called for this battle. The call had to be as real as the pain I'd felt. The call had to be as vivid as the reality of my ordeal. The call had to be as relevant as the current statistics stand.
From a victim to an ambassador.
I am boldly confessing to the world that part of my live's purpose and another reason for my existence is to be an advocate for healing. I have been trained to empower the discouraged, to set a courageous example with my own life and to aid the corner of the world where God has strategically placed me to groom a new generation of men and women that serve each other, protect, assist and bend backwards for each other's sanity and well-being.
Is it fun or easy? Far from that. But oh so worthy. Won't I cry out and scream? Trust me, I might. This journey is in it, to win me. Yes!
You may have noticed on my social feeds. But a week into it, I can smell fresh ash, forming into healed women and a community engaging in a battle for freedom. Take notice and stay with me.
It is called WAR against Rape n Abuse @WAR_RnA #Warsp2014

His Kiss

Song of Solomon 1:2 says Let him kiss me with the kisses of his mouth- for your love is better than wine.
Tonight, I am celebrating, this is my 69th soon to be 70th post in the 11 months I've been blogging and off cause I will celebrate it with my favorite topic: LOVE. Here is a beautiful piece to warm your heart. From mine to yours, thank you for giving me moments of your life to share what's on my mind and heart. I love you.

Your greater than your past. Your stronger than any moment of failure. You can rise like smoke up a chimney. You were meant to spiral to the sky. All the chilling drafts of broken promises should not deny you the gift of life. Never forget that you are alive-sometimes weak, sometimes strong, but alive. You will be right some days and wrong some nights, but don't stop waking up in the morning. The morning is God's gift of another chance to pass the exam.

He has kissed you gently, tenderly but definitely. It's not the urgent kiss of a desperate lover who makes demands in the night. He has kissed you with the gentle kiss of a Father's favour whose tenderness would shield you from the trauma of the past. You have been touched, blessed, kissed. One smooch, gently delivered from heaven's lips to human pain. You have been kissed by the Father himself. No wonder Satan has failed to destroy in the night what God had prepared in the light. You have been kissed.

This is what you have to know if you are to withstand the darkness. This is what you must rehearse against the goblins of old images and past memories that would assault your dreams and turn them into nightmares. Just as sure as a Father's kiss would ease the nervous child trying to rest in a strange place, God's kiss is a sedative for you. No matter how foreign this place in your life may seem, you must  know that He prepared you for it. When he kissed her you, He shielded you, and you are His. Safe and secure, you may rest in the sanctity and safety of arms that will not fail you. A kiss goodnight is His way of sealing you till morning. And it will come, it will not tarry. The morning is yours. Spend it well. Use it sparingly.

The morning is for the hopeful not the regretful. It is expectations. It is wet dew moistening dry ground. Greater still, it is the future lying naked before you. Daybreak is stretching in the fresh hours of a new opportunity just created. It is an empty tomb and a filled manger. It is life, love and hope. Never forget about the breaking of day. It will come. Nights will pass, tears will dry and enemies will leave. But you will rise in the morning.

To daddy's kiss.

This was written by an awesome writer and speaker,Pastor TD JAKES.

Love letter to LOVE

It seemed like an impenetrable wall, the concept of who you are or what your not. Somehow between then and now, you patiently made me realize how it was the most permeable of all subjects. You are simply love.
 You don't have to make sense. You are passion leading logic. You are God by yourself. But erasing my sin with your own death, now that. That I applaud. See, I love you. Its a knowing now, not a feeling. You ooze of grace, an immeasurable supply of the most un merited of all favors.
Your so gracious, it made my doubts to shrink into knots. Your the most amazing of all lovers. So excellent in all you do. I don't always understand you. When I try, I weaken myself trying to make sense of a being so perfect. Never changing.

Unending. Magnificent. See, its true. Its so true that if I searched anywhere else but in creation first, I would have gotten more lost than darkness in the presence of light. The clouds spread out to worship you.
The textures of butterfly wings are as soft as your voice in my ear. Your breeze of peace is gentler than that of the majestic seas. Your love falls on my skin like soft summer raindrops.
That rainbow! They can't argue. When earth, moon, sun and stars don't question but worship and depend on you. I didn't think you would, a doubtful and critical person as myself, so helplessly inlove with a being I've never seen! But you did it, you won my heart, mind, spirit and soul.
 Effortlessly. By just being you. Unashamedly and relentlessly pursuing and convincing me, proving your goodness and healing my doubt into seeing the person your molding me to be. Before I was born, I sat at your feet and you narrated your life plan for my stay on earth.

 Honestly, I forgot it all after my birth. Now, I'll spend eternity, going back to our eternal beginning daddy. You are called so many fancy words, in all languages, accents and variations. To me you are LOVE.
It seemed like an impenetrable wall, the concept of who you are or what your not. Somehow between then and now, you patiently made me realize how it was the most permeable of all subjects. You are simply love.

Come See

The other day, I came across a refreshing revelation of Jesus Christ, something I've had before, but because of our God's variety of wisdom doses, with a new and different twist to it. I believe that everyone who is not an atheist or antagonist believes and seeks God, and in seeking God I've seen and discovered the most inspiring and creative ways the vast population does it. The revelation was simply that in seeking God, to focus on Jesus. I then wrote this status on my facebook timeline " Kannete many times, we get so intent on seeking God in one area that we forget the greatest miracle of all, which is the love and redemption given to us from God through His Son.
*thinking about Jesus*"

So this morning, I decided to start following this man in the Bible, abuti John and in the first chapter of his book, I couldn't stop but smile. A few things came to mind:
•Wow God, really, in seeking you, your will, your heart for me, YOU will find ME »»Boooooooooom««
•YOU will choose me,
•YOU will lead and guide me through the only person I need to focus on to gain sanity in understanding all that is YOU and all that is ME, and that's JESUS CHRIST.
•Someone out there comes from a better family, has had a better academic,financial, psychological background, lives in a better community, has had better opportunities, has made better decisions, hey daddy, they are better, but YOU see ME, as your BEST, even in the state and phase I am in.
•I don't have to struggle to prove its YOU, I don't even have to prove it to anyone that its YOU Lord who has found and dealt with me to mold, teach and lead me to where I am and proceeding to.
•Its ok, to look at the simple truths of your Son Jesus Christ, as He saves and tags me along with Him from my most simple state "sitting under a tree" and to get excited over how in simplicity, He hand picked me to accomplish a great deal and deed through my following for your kingdom.
•The focus is Jesus.
I have that big smile on my face right now hehehehe, but moving right along now.

GRACE! Just that.

This took me back to a month ago when a friend of mine and I where talking and she mentioned to me that she was told of an ordeal that occurred a while back. I happened to have been there and her version was twisted in more areas than expected, she took offense at how funny I thought what she said was. I explained to her that maybe we need to change how we view things. That maybe we need to start paying more attention to seeing things for ourselves than believing what we are hearing.

That's another one of the sweet gestures that the Holy Spirit is luring us to in the verses below. Nathaneal could have asked any other person around to affirm Jesus Christ but Philip simplifies (that word again) the rest of their walk with the Messiah as " come and see for yourself Nathaneal, spend the rest of your life observing, learning from, marveling at, worshiping, profiting from and believing by seeing for yourself, who this Jesus is. IRRESPECTIVE of where He comes from.

It sure didn't take long for Jesus to simply remind Nathaneal that He had chosen him a while before their introduction while he was minding his own business enjoying the shade.
So if nothing good ever came out of Nazareth, trust that the King of kings, the Savior and Messiah, the Lion and Lamb, the atonement, the Way, the Truth and the Life, the advocate and author of salvation, the bread of life, our chief cornerstone, Emmanuel, the end of the Law, the Example, the governer and healer, the I AM did.
Selah!

John 1:45  Philip sought and found Nathanael and told him, We have found (discovered) the One Moses in the Law and also the Prophets wrote about--Jesus from Nazareth, the [legal] son of Joseph! 46  Nathanael answered him, [Nazareth!] Can anything good come out of Nazareth? Philip replied, Come and see! 47  Jesus saw Nathanael coming toward Him and said concerning him, See! Here is an Israelite indeed [a true descendant of Jacob], in whom there is no guile nor deceit nor falsehood nor duplicity! 48  Nathanael said to Jesus, How do You know me? [How is it that You know these things about me?] Jesus answered him, Before [ever] Philip called you, when you were still under the fig tree, I saw you. 49  Nathanael answered, Teacher, You are the Son of God! You are the King of Israel! 50  Jesus replied, Because I said to you, I saw you beneath the fig tree, do you believe in and rely on and trust in Me? You shall see greater things than this! 51  Then He said to him, I assure you, most solemnly I tell you all, you shall see heaven opened, and the angels of God ascending and descending upon the Son of Man!

But what more can a sister say!
Smiles again
Sidenote: there's so much more that one can learn from this passage alone, I pray for refreshing revelations for you as you go back and read it.